Icewind's Ramblings

While browsing I found that a store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . . you may choose any man from that particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor. But you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . . . On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor...

Truth in Advertising – Air Conditioning This is the second in a series of commercials I recently saw on other sites, Youtube & The Gag Report and thought them quite funny so I thought I would share them with everyone. These will probably never play on American television but might be great selling points for some of us. Enjoy! What do you think? Ice

This small mostly native village in western Alaska had its own “Katrina” disaster today as a fire swept through this Cup'ik Eskimo village, about 500 miles west of Anchorage. I have several projects going on in Hooper Bay and Scammon Bay so this was sad news for me. There is a feeling of frustration from my friends there as the lack of necessary basic fire fighting equipment or personnel in this village could possibly have made a difference. Hooper Bay 's remoteness left people little choice but to stand back and watch the tragedy unfold. The early response was 7 people on 4 wheel ATV’s (the normal transportation there) pulling a small trailer with a water tank. The pump was inoperable so that left them with 4 fire extinguishers to try to put out the fire that had just started. At last report, over 20 structures had burned to the ground including the old school (where the fire started possibly from kids playing), a store, several teacher houses, and abo...

Truth in Advertising? – Part 1 I saw a few commercials recently on a couple of other sites, Youtube & The Gag Report . I thought they were funny so I thought I would share them. These will probably never play on American television but might be great selling points for some of us. Enjoy! Jeep Ad – Suspension Ice

When was the last time you wrote a letter? Please note typing and sending an email is not the same as writing with a ballpoint pen, filled with blue ink, on a plain sheet of paper. In an age like ours, which is not given to letter-writing, we forget what an important part it used to play in people's lives. ~Anatole Broyard The other night I was eating dinner or was it supper (Supper is the last meal of the day, right?? But what about those snacks I eat at midnight?) and watching reruns of The Amazing Race on television. The contestants were reading the clues and hurrying to the next task when I decided I would complete a few e-mails I had waiting for me. It occurred to me that I never write letters to anyone anymore. I am lucky if I get the chance to answer a few emails during my busy week. Come to think if it, over the years I have never really been a letter writer. I guess I should thank the person who came up with e-mails. I remembered back to my youth ...

Ravenstoke Alaska has a solution for a problem for a town without enough women. Watch this short video to see how true Alaskan’s solve problems. Enjoy. Ice

It is a tribute to the professionalism and bravery of the U.S. Coast Guard and Alaska Air National Guard. Imagine a 65-story building tilted sideways at an 90-degree angle. Then imagine dumping that building into the middle of a frigid ocean, some 230 miles from the nearest land mass, and you get a sense of the challenge that awaited rescue teams that responded Monday night to the predicament of the Asian cargo ship Cougar Ace. The Cougar Ace left Japan on July 22, with 23 people on board and is a Singapore home ported vessel. It is carrying 4,813 vehicles , en-route to Vancouver B.C. The vessel is carrying 430 metric tons of fuel oil and 112 metric tons of diesel fuel. According to the USCG, there is a oil sheen extending 2 miles from the vessel. Bringing all 23 of the ship's crew safely ashore was an astonishing, almost miraculous, feat. Thanks to their teamwork, involving three helicopters, three support aircraft and repeated midair refuelings, this peri...

Lately, I have been wondering where my dreams went. I know that I had a list of them because I kept a journal while I was growing up. I remember turning 18 and compiling that list of dreams I had written over the years and having such hope in my heart. I was going to do great things. I was going to be remembered. I'm sitting here now thinking that I have fallen short in some of my goals and so I'm wondering where dreams go when they are not realized or remembered. The journal I kept while growing up wasn't bound or beautiful. It was sheets of loose leaf paper that I'd stick in a folder and stuff under my bed or in a box when I was through writing. I carried that folder with the words of my life around with me for many years. When we would move, I'd stick the folder in a box then I'd take it back out when we would arrive wherever we were going. I guarded it with my life because it was the story of my life and I knew its value to me was real and important...

I have been traveling this week without internet so I have not had a chance to write. I have just gotten back into town so I will leave you with this until next post. I’ve been so busy this has been running through my mind a lot lately. Word That Enters My Mind Most Days Enough . Says it all, doesn't it? Ice

I have to admit, I was a bit worried when my office moved into a new building recently. Sure, the new place is great -- spacious, modern (built just for us, don't you know), plenty of amenities, and ample parking. If it had condos on top, I'd sell my house and move in posthaste. It's even highly secure -- you need keys to get in, and there's a huge fence all the way around the building. That’s probably to keep all of the drunks from Eddie’s Sports Bar next door from passing out in our bushes after the big game. All we need is a little man in a uniform to stand in the front and shake his hand at you if you can't get in or don’t park in the right spot. This is a plumbing wholesale supply house and Home Depot has nothing on us. Still, there was one concern: where the hell would we eat if we tire of Eddie’s ? The old building on our same lot was not too far from other restaurants. Eddie’s is kinda of an Irish pub, a Subway, a Thai joint, even a microbrew...

You know I just had to share this. Ice

This story was sent to me by a friend so I have to share it with everyone. If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out loud! Overview: I (Mom) had to take my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just laying here looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Mom. Can you help?" I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do. "Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!" My husband diagnosed after a minute, “Oh gosh, she's having babies." "What?" my son deman...

As many of you know I try to write to my blog, Icewind’s Ramblings most everyday unless I am out of town or have real life things to keep me from looking at life in that demented way that I do. Can you see where this is going? I was checking my 'bulk' folder this evening on one of my email accounts -- making sure none of your treasured comments happened to get routed to the slush pile -- when a message header caught my eye: “You dream of rivers of sperm, of a penis enormous and firm.” Now, first of all, let me assure you that I don't. I cannot recall ever entertaining that idea or mental picture. Dream of 'rivers of sperm', that is. Not to the best of my knowledge, anyway. I might dream of falling, or running away from monsters (usually my inner demons), or -- once, rather unfortunately -- eating a giant marshmallow during a camping trip. But swiftly-flowing streams of semen? No. It's possible now I'll have that nightmare about it. N...

Today kinda feels like a 'quick hit' sort of day. So I'll start this post now, and update it later with more saucy snippets. Or I won't; only time will tell. But here comes the first bit now: Living World Trivia Hummingbirds can't walk. Ice

I had written this back during the Christmas holidays and never posted this at the time. I have since changed jobs but at the time I had moved my office from a nice quiet end of the hallway location into another part of the building back into the mainstream of activity and distractions from getting work done. Maybe you can relate to this. . . I was going through my mail when my manager poked his head in my office. Quick! My mind has a flashback to a Dilbert cartoon. Dilbert gets back from a business trip and settles in his cubicle and says, 'Ah, being back in my cubicle is like being back in the security of the womb'. Just then, the boss pokes his head in and says, 'Just thought I'd poke my head in and see how you're doing.' Return to the present. My boss pokes his head in and says, “You've moved” . Don't say it. Don't say it. Running through my mind, 'I can see you got to be a manager because of your superior observational sk...

I was actually kind of crazy at work yesterday. I sang and hummed to myself and whatever customers were around at the time. I think I may have freaked a few of them out with my ‘happiness’ at 2 in the afternoon. I wished someone was up for heading down to the Kenai River fishing last night but it was raining hard with no end in sight for this weekend. Red Salmon There is an amazing phenomenon that occurs for a short time each summer in the Last Frontier as thousands of Alaskan residents, both young and old from all walks of life, take a break from whatever they are busy doing at the time to storm the shores of several Alaska Rivers. Other Alaskans know exactly what they're up to as soon as they lay eyes on the twenty foot long-pole contraptions of every sort, shape and size with very large nets attached that are carried on every conceivable car, truck (“rig” in Alaskan slang), or camper. This ritual for some can be alone while others come with friends to share in this u...

I was doing a few things in my garage yesterday when I saw something that brought back a memory of long ago. There are things that trigger some memory like it was yesterday and can bring a smile to your face. This was one of those times. Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far, away. Ok, maybe not so long ago, but definitely far, far away, from where I am now. It was 1995 or so, It was when I was living down south, Georgia, or perhaps even Utah, Somewhere back east (of Alaska) and west of I-85. A trip to one of my favorite restaurants, I know it sounds dorky, But yes . . . it was a bit of a scene still in my mind, these many years later. You know Cracker Barrel? Ah yes! Fried Chicken, Cornbread, Fried Okra, Dumplings, Pork Chops, and Pancakes, Yummy things I love best. Not to mention all the homey things you might, take home to your wife or friends. You know come to think of it . . . It might even be a Santa’s Wonderland of sorts, the Granny Rockers; checkerboard games made...