Icewind's Ramblings

This wasn’t meant to get into another rant about advertising . . . but . . . come on . . . this is such BS I cannot help but comment on this. You've probably seen the television ads because I am sure that the ‘small market’ that is Alaska (600,000+ people) cannot be the only place where these things are showing on television every fifteen minutes. The makers of Requip claim it treats sufferers of a condition known as . . . get this . . . Restless Legs Syndrome. I kid you not. There is actually a disease in the medical community called Restless Legs Syndrome (or for those of you with Lazy Tongue Disorder, RLS). I am now totally convinced that the pharmaceutical companies are INVENTING DISEASES just to sell us drugs. In fact, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if they actually came up with the drugs first, and then thought up diseases to go along with them. I'll bet you a week's pay that Requip was originally supposed to be another male enhancement drug gone ...

It’s a strange thing . . . For some people it is a scent . . . For others it’s a possible trip . . . For one . . . it was a drive from Houston to Orlando . How long did it take? ‘Depends’ . . . but the reports were it was over 12 hours With no stops for bathroom breaks, wearing adult ‘diapers’ . . . One of America ’s astronaut’s, Navy Captain Lisa Marie Nowak Orbited around fellow astronaut, Air Force Captain Coleen Shipman’s car At the Orlando airport in a failed attempt to kidnap and/or do harm To Shipman because both were possibly dating another astronaut . . . The plot thickens . . . Navy Commander, Bill Oefelein who is single. NASA has no rules against fraternizing among astronauts but the old saying Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned . . . brings to light possible . . . Well possible new considerations of our space program. I guess it was only time for this to happen as we “men” will somehow get ...

Memorable farts . . . Part One I fell on the ice today and bloodied my kneecap and do not really feel like writing tonight so I’ll bring out one I have been working on for a bit now and give you part of it now. OK, another strange topic for a blog, but you've got to admit - farting is fun! True, there's a time and a place, but in the end, everyone farts, right? Or else they'd explode . . . So, here is one of my favorite fart stories, all from personal experience. This is from the time I first started to be fascinated by this normal aspect of life. I guess I just twisted it about in my mind a bit and continue to be amazed by this natural body experience. One of the most disturbing farts I have ever witnessed was cracked off by a cute young girl in a bikini. I was about fifteen years old, hanging out at a swimming pool where I was a lifeguard, and a friend of mine’s seventeen year old sister was there with two of her friends. There was a lot of flirting goin...

My mechanic couldn't repair my brakes, so he made my horn louder. Ice

Life is the greatest bargain - we get it for nothing. Ice

Do you have any friends that won’t call on you when they need something repaired or fixed and they know that is what you do for a living or can at least assist them in finishing something? I have worked in the plumbing industry for over 35 years now either as a plumber, contractor, and now in the sales end of the business. I have a friend like that and I will relate to you his story and try to describe his dilemma as best I can from what he told me once I became involved. He is fine now and can use any bathroom in his house without losing any sleep hearing that little dripping noise or the toilet refill several times during the night. As is often the case, the wife said to call me so I could make things better between them and get the problem fixed once and for all. Now I may have embellished a bit here and there but trust me it happened almost like everything you will read here. I have mixed his words with mine and any attempt at humor is because it is too funny to n...

Sleep deprivation and alcohol have approximately the same effect on the brain. Ice

It has been extremely busy for me lately and at times there seem to be many tasks at hand. I think we all go through those time periods in our life where so many things around us affect other things in our lives.I have to say out front that I love coffee. I like the taste crossing my tongue and that warm feeling in my throat and beyond as it is going down making its way to my stomach. I awake every morning to the fresh smell of brewing coffee and that first cup starts the day with just the right mixture of ‘an old friend’ (Maxwell House ‘Master Blend’) in that certain familiar cup setting the stage for how my day is to go. We are all creatures of habit and usually if things change it sets into motion ‘other changes’ that might sometimes go unexpected or unexplained. My Mr. Coffee (Space saver model) went on the fritz this week. This after about five years of faithful service with at least brewing 2 pots a day going through it, the bottom warmer finally died. It was a sl...

Moments ago I listened to a television commercial pitching a skin cream to "those who are passionate about the health of their skin." The pitch man confidently stated that the product contained "shea and cocoa butter," as if everyone from Attu to Elmo understood full well that these are clearly the finest things on earth to smear into one's skin on a twice-daily basis. Admittedly, "shea" and "cocoa butter" certainly sound like things that are probably good for the skin but I base this conclusion on ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, as do we all. Constantly. In fact, I had never even heard of cocoa butter (neither have most of you probably) until recently with all of the pitches on television for “body butter” and I didn't even know the word "shea" existed outside of Shea Stadium. But the advertisement works because these clever folks know full well that senseless, smooth-sounding "buzz words" easily move the docile buying public...

You are what you read. Ice

Life Observation # 35 Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring. Ice

Tonight Heroes is back on and I have no time to post so I’ll continue this series. Here is Condoms part 4 If Pringles Made Condoms Ice

With the passing of the Winter Solstice, we see the prevalence of darkness in our day-to-day life here in the far north. Our morning sunrise is around 9:30 to 10:00 am and goes down around 3:15 pm in the afternoon which doesn’t leave much time for ‘fun in the sun’ time each day. Case in point, when I take my granddaughter to the daycare in the morning, it's dark outside. When I pick her up after work, it's dark outside again. Does her little body yet understand the effects of the daylight? When I am in my office at work it seems that your life is in a perpetual state of darkness as usually there is no time to ‘look outside’ seeking the daylight. The only time I really see sunlight is when I am out of the office calling on clients or days during the weekends when you may be out and about during the day finishing chores. W hich brings me to the point of my entry today . . . When your life is in a state of perpetual darkness, you tend to notice the importance of lights....

Having a grand daughter in the house has given me plenty of time lately to consider possibilities . . . One is this . . . Four words I never thought I would yell at my age . . . “STOP LICKING THE TELEVISION ! ! ! ! ” Edit – A few people have emailed me so to give the explanation for the above post. My grand daughter was watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on DVD. Ice

Tonight I have no time to post so I’ll continue this series. Here is Condoms part 3 If M & M’s Made Condoms Ice

After all these years it's disconcerting to once again encounter another myth about Alaska . That brings up another one. I've been holding this in for months, but I finally have to say it: There are NO Penguins in Alaska ! The only penguin in the northern hemisphere is an occasional lost Humboldt penguin that strayed too far from his Galapagos Islands base. Coca Cola and Madison Avenue have created an urban legend that polar bears won't eat penguins at Christmas time if they can have a coke instead. Unfortunately polar bears don't live in the southern hemisphere where all the penguins are. That reminds me of a punch line from a southern USA joke, “It’s a trick General Sherman . . . there’s two of em”. Now I was born and raised in Atlanta , the world headquarters for Coca Cola and I have had more than my share of Cokes in my lifetime . . . but for the last several years we have had those commercials. They are great in the simplicity and are beautif...

In an informal discussion between friends, never worry about the topic . . . Chances are that . . . within 5 minutes . . . everyone forgot what they . . . were talking about in the first place. Ice

It’s snowing today and as I sit here deciding what I wanted to write about I hit my play button on my computers Windows Media Player. I sat here for awhile listening to songs from my past and enjoying the beat and different styles I have enjoyed for many years now. I started thinking about how music has changed since the 60’s as I grew up and became aware of how much music is integrated into our brains multilayered memory. We remember things by what song or music was playing in the background in the events of our lives. That first kiss or maybe when you graduated from high school or college. What tunes were associated to those events in your life? Events of our times that burned into our conscientious like the first moon walk or the tragedy of 9/11 are held in our memories by music or video clips from our past. Things have changed over the last 50 years and in our headlong rush to go digital, much of our past are becoming just meaningless code of 0's and 1...

I know in the past there has been some debate on whether Moose can fly. I am here to tell you that they do. Moose can fly. I saw one. Last Tuesday as I was driving home from a day of sales calls in the valley and the sun still sets in early afternoon. It was bitter cold as the darkness set in again for another long dark night. A little earlier in the day when I was in Palmer the sign said it was -34 degrees and was confirmed by my compass/temperature gauge in my rig. It was cold and windy as I made my way from Wasilla around the Knik Arm of Cook Inlet on my way home. I was driving across the Hay Flats towards the Knik River Bridge when I first saw it. I was driving against the normal traffic flow coming home from work in Anchorage on their way to the Mat-su valley communities so there were not many vehicles driving in my direction which was west towards Anchorage . The traffic was moving along at 65 miles per hour as I followed this small gold i...

Tonight we have had high winds, are expecting snow sometime overnight and the television has been giving Tsunami warnings all night for the coastal regions of Alaska. This is due to an 8.2 magnitude earthquake in the Kuril Islands off the Russian coast northeast of Japan . Tonight will be a mixture of a few things before our Christmas memories are faded . . . and this New Year is well on the way. This is Part 2 of a series I’ve wanted to do for awhile now but had not. Here is Condoms part 2: If Nike Made Condoms Ice