Icewind’s Dreams

Lately, I have been wondering where my dreams went. I know that I had a list of them because I kept a journal while I was growing up. I remember turning 18 and compiling that list of dreams I had written over the years and having such hope in my heart. I was going to do great things. I was going to be remembered. I'm sitting here now thinking that I have fallen short in some of my goals and so I'm wondering where dreams go when they are not realized or remembered.

The journal I kept while growing up wasn't bound or beautiful. It was sheets of loose leaf paper that I'd stick in a folder and stuff under my bed or in a box when I was through writing. I carried that folder with the words of my life around with me for many years. When we would move, I'd stick the folder in a box then I'd take it back out when we would arrive wherever we were going. I guarded it with my life because it was the story of my life and I knew its value to me was real and important and worth keeping.

During one of my moves, when I was 22, I was so angry about having to start over again that I tossed it out with the trash and didn't look back. I have the ability to do that, you know. I could discard things and banish them from my mind with calculated ease back then. I do not know what this says about me, but I do know that lately, I often regret not keeping that record of my life and my list of dreams. I think mostly because I do not remember them all and I think if you have a list of dreams, the least you can do is remember what they are. Were my paper dreams the ‘score card’ of how I lived my life? Is the reality of my life far richer than the one I had imagined so long ago? Always searching . . .

Sometimes, I imagine the dreams I wrote down so carefully, strewn around a landfill somewhere. I see some pieces being carried in the wind, some probably buried, and now slowly disintegrating and disappearing into the limitless sky.

I do not think that dreams ever die. They get lost . . . they shift and change with time within us. When this happens, it takes time to accept all the things you might not ever be that you dreamed in your heart so long ago.

I’d like to think that no matter how old you are, there is reason to find the courage to risk failing in pursuit of the things you hoped for and dream about. I’d like to imagine that my dreams are still out there waiting for me in that limitless sky or on that mountaintop to find them again.

Ice

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Morrison Springs - Ponce de Leon, Florida

Image
Morrison Springs Ponce de Leon, Florida County road 181 Morrison Springs was one of our favorite dive spots on many of our Florida trips but it also had the most danger to it.  One of Northwest Florida’s best-kept secrets was known to more Georgia and Alabama folks than Floridians.  And they weren’t talking.  It had to do with the jewel of a Panhandle spring, a turquoise pool surrounded by stately cypress trees whose aerial roots stand taller than a man. Below the surface, clear, 68-degree water wells up from a spring cave source over 90 feet deep. Morrison Springs is just far enough off the beaten path in this sunny pine and cypress country to be special for any diver lucky enough to find and dive the site. The shallow pool reflects the overhead blue sky and if the water is clear and the bottom clean of silt, it resembles a giant sapphire.  Unlike some springs with a deep, black hole source, this one takes visitors gradually into its shallows from a golden-sand beach. Div
Read more

Are Showing Your Nipples Appropriate Work Attire?

Image
Let me first say that personally, I have no problem with it at all. This has been kind of a weird week here in the north land with the first of many winter snowfalls’s to come and the landscape once again beautifully covered in the white stuff. It looks like the kids will have to put their Halloween costume on over a snowsuit again this year as the cold snowy stuff is here again. That is not what I wanted to write about tonight but was necessary to set up what I did want to write about. “Frosty nipples” are quite common here during most of the year and when things cool down on the cusp of winter probably more so. Work attire with tight shirts or low cut blouses that ‘make a statement’ during colder weather could be taken several ways by co-workers or visitors to your place of business. While you may not always be taken seriously by others in the office and some may have trouble looking you in the face, I say it's a freedom of rights issue. If you want to show o
Read more

Biscuits and Whores

Image
Some of the best things about life I learned from Lonesome Dove. Great movie, excellent characters, and tells a story about how to live life. Augustus McCrae “It ain’t dying I’m talking about, it’s living.   I doubt it matters where you die, but it matters where you live.” I'm just tryin' to keep everything in balance, Woodrow. You do more work than you got to, so it's my obligation to do less. “Yesterday’s gone and we can’t get it back.” “I'm sure partial to the evening,' Augustus said. 'The evening and the morning.   If we just didn't have to have the rest of the dern day I'd be a lot happier.” Hat Creek Cattle Company Well we don't rent pigs and I figure it's better to say it right out front because a man that does like to rent pigs is . . . he's hard to stop. Biscuits “I never knew you to get excited about anything except biscuits maybe . . . and whores!”    Captain Woodrow Call to Augustus McCrae in Lonesome Dove. Whores L
Read more