Icewind's Ramblings

It would most likely kill me but that's another story! Most of us men are clueless in trying to figure out women. We try real hard but for some reason can't quite get it right. Here are a few examples: A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The biggest fear was that there was no heaven. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact. "Rose... Rose...." "Is that you, Douglas?" Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "What's it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast then I have sex. I bathe in the sun, I then have sex twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again." "Oh, Douglas , you surely must be in heaven." "Not exactly, I'm a rabbi

We were out with friends tonight getting into the Christmas spirit way up North. The lights all over the city shining brightly and the decorations Downtown and in neighborhoods looks really great. Anchorage is in the middle of the “City of Lights ” Festival which runs from October until March. This runs from just before Halloween until the last dog crosses the finish line in Nome , Alaska at the conclusion of the Iditarod Dog Sled Race. We had a great time tonight eating “All you can Eat King Crab legs” from one of our favorite little restaurants, Phyllis’s Café and Salmon Bake. They are open this winter with a nice cozy feel. There is an outdoor area for summer dining along 5 th Avenue , one of the main streets Downtown. Great food, funny stories (we all laughed way too much and were entertained by the floor show), and a musician who played songs and talked with everyone. This will be another quick post of a couple of items. Employee Christmas Party MEMO

I have been out most of the evening to a vendor's Christmas Party so this is a short one for me tonight so I don't ramble on. Happy Holidays. A friend sent this to me awhile back during fishing season. Ice

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid. 4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse". 6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door. 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. 8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off. 9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean. Sincerely, The Dog Ice

Ask for nothing Accept graciously that which is given to you Be thankful always See good, do good, Be good Be Silent and listen. Smile (It changes the world) Perform random acts of kindness to others Ice

Barkeep I'll have a pint of Guinness and a glass of that Crown Royal Special Reserve that Russ got me for ABCon. After a week of above average temperatures with a high of 44 degrees (7 C) one day last week things are starting to happen all over Alaska . It was a weird time as an Alaska Street gang was seen wandering around. As you can see, things are out of hand: Late last night things were getting back to normal when temps started falling again and yes, it finally HAPPENED!!!!. Yes, HELL finally froze over. I was shocked to see things had gone crazy here. This dick in a truck pulled out in front of me on the way home tonight as it has been snowing all day and everything was slick and people were upside down in the ditches. I was able to miss this nut but couldn't get a license plate number. Luckily I do keep a camera with me for job pictures so I was able to get a quick picture to help me find him again.

Returning from a fishing trip a while back we drove behind a vehicle for almost an hour with her (ok to be fair), her/his left turn signal on without making a turn. It drove me nuts as I’m sure you have noticed all of the drivers riding around with their left turn signal on? They will ride for miles and never even change lanes let alone turn. I remember my cruise out of south Florida two years ago and it seemed like everyone in the Miami/Ft. Lauderdale area was turning left. Everyone had a blinker on but seemed unable to commit to anything. Maybe they were trying to turn around to head north towards Atlanta , my old stompin’ grounds. During that time I was thinking about all of the junk emails and spam I tend to get in my inboxes. Today I thought I would answer some letters from recent e-mails and letters from confused readers about varied topics. (I’ll use Florida as the addresses since I had been thinking about the Miami drivers) Dear Icewind , I keep g