Icewind's Ramblings

I suffered tonight while eating dinner as I sat watching television.  I had been watching the local news which as I did that manly thing of channel surfing I stumbled upon either “Show Biz Tonight” or “Entertainment Tonight”.  They both look the same to me as I never watch these programs but the ‘teaser’ during the commercial gave reference to a pre-Olympic story on skier Lindsey Vonn which I wanted to see. While I waited for the story I was bombarded by a story about John Meyer’s raunchy talk about his former love Jessica Simpson.  Who cares was my first thought, and then I went into wondering who the hell John Mayer is?  Turns out he is somewhat of a singer and had the song from The Bucket List, “Say”.  Yeah that was annoying long before I ever saw the movie with its repeating the line “Say what you need to say” 41 times in just over 3 minutes and 44 seconds.  It was not the neat little ditty like some songs that stick in your brain to help you bright...

I love the internet as you can find almost anything with a few key words or a brief description.  There is information on subjects or topics from all walks of life and that cover any side or point of view about a subject. Example: Itchy Butt has much information with a quick Google search and trying to find a remedy could be found in of all places on Craig’s List.  Even Answers.com gets a hit! What a product to help you stop itching . . . Here's the text of one testimonial ad for AnaNOitch-D on Craig’s List: "Hello there, I bought two bottles of AnaNOitch-D to get rid of my rectal itching.  After just a few days of using this natural remedy the itching stopped.  Now I don't need the second bottle.  I paid $33 for it as you can see on their website, but I will sell it to you for $14.  If you live close by, you are welcome to come over and pick it up.  Please let me know.   Myra . " Now that's a sure sell if you suffer from this ailmen...

I’ve had this one tucked away for many months now debating when to post it as I have moved away from some of my earlier funny but questionable musings.  But I do feel it is a subject that many experience but may never have thought to ask . . . Well that’s why I am here to help . . . your itchy butt expert who took two years of research without any government grants to give you this insightful information. Have you ever needed to scratch your butt in public but there were too many witnesses?  Well I have a solution for you for just about any situation. Icewind’s Guide on “How to Scratch your Butt in Public (without unwanted stares)”. 1. The Wall Approach - Slowly back-up towards the closest wall possible. Then, take desired hand & move it towards the itchy buttocks.  Scratch uncontrollably, until its better. 2. The Pants Approach - “The Back Pocket” carefully reach into the back pocket of your pants.  Slowly itch the desired cheek and act like yo...

I saw these couple of weeks ago and thought it was kind of cute so I figured I would post something sooner or later. I think all of us at one time or another knows someone or has had to deal with a few of these people. I don’t have time to write tonight so this is my (_zzz_) tired ass heading for some much needed sleep. Do any of these fit you? Hopefully not but just in case here goes: (_!_) a regular ass (__!__) a fat ass (!) a tight ass (_*_) a sore ass {_!_} a swishy ass (_o_) an ass that's been around (_x_) kiss my ass (_X_) leave my ass alone (_zzz_) a tired ass (_E=mc2_) a smart ass (_$_) money coming out of his ass (_?_) dumb Ass (W) Presidential ass (I couldn’t resist for those out there who feel this way) Ice

Or what I discovered about home remedies! For some people as you get older there are many weird things that happen to your body. Things change, move around, and just create new things to deal with. For some your eyes do funny things and you have to start wearing bifocal glasses so you can read. For others those parts of the body that were at one time firm and uplifting have fallen or gone to other unknown places. There is the stomach which was once flat and firm that has seemed to bulge out of nowhere and for some even Dunlap . . . its dun lapped over your belt. One of the minor problems I had since a young age due originally from the bouncing motion of flying helicopters was a condition known as hemorrhoids. Not a pleasant condition when they flare up and one that luckily is only a sometime occurrence. When I have a flare up or actually a ‘drop out’ there is a medication I have sparingly used for relief of the itch and burning sensation called Preparation...