Icewind's Ramblings

Today was really busy as I put my wife on a plane to go south out of the cold and darkness to the warmth and sun of Hawaii for a convention. No time to really write anything today so here's a joke that was sent me by a friend here in Alaska . An older lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that either. Officer: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the ...

This is not really a “dirty” story, but an agricultural story! There was this farmer is South Georgia who had a couple of prized pigs. He had won several ribbons for his sows at the state fair for several years in a row. He wanted to pass on those fine qualities so he called his neighbor who had a fine boar to mate them with. His neighbor told him to load his pigs into his truck and bring them over to his farm and put them all in a pen together. The farmer told his wife he would be back a little later that he was taking his sows over to his neighbors. He arrived, unloaded his pigs and off they went into the pen with the wild boar name “Big Jake”. Later on the pigs all got together and there was a grunting going on that could be heard from about a mile away. After “Big Jake” had his way with the sows the two farmers loaded the pigs back into the truck to go back home and asked his friend, “How will I know if this took and my sows will be pre...

I am wondering when we will get back to the days of normal sunlight. We are into our Horizon Sun period of the year. The sun rises and never gets mo re than about 2 inches about the horizon staying in a flat arc across the sky. This is the road less traveled looking down my "street" (gravel road) over Thanksgiving. We had a good bit of snowfall in that time period but it has been unusually dry and hardly any snow since (less than 4"-6"). It has been a busy week at work so I think I will sit back and have a nice glass of my favorite, Guinness. Cheers everyone! And I guess for those that have cats around, don't forget to let them finish that last drop in the glass. Here Kitty Kitty, Here Kitty Kitty, Now I see why he never comes when called. Cheers! Don't forget your sun glasses when driving into the Horizon Sun! Ice

I am reminded tonight of a story I have heard many times over the years that usually was towards the end of a seminar and was told to make a point. I first heard this story as a small boy who enjoyed Aesop fables and the story was told a little differently then. There once was a little bird in the northland that enjoyed the warmth of summer. He chirped happily and eagerly ate as winter was approaching. The little bird prepared for his migration flight south. Pretty soon, the weather turned bad, got colder, and eventually started to snow. The little bird’s wings started to freeze up and nearly frozen glided into a large field. It continued to snow and now the bird was shivering trying to stay warm. A cow was standing close by and asked why he did not fly south for winter. The little bird said he thought it was so beautiful and nice where he was that he decided to stay and not make the long flight to stay in the warmer weather. The little bird had...

I received this one from a friend in Atlanta and tonight I did not have a lot of free time so I thought I would post this for your pleasure. Two things Navy SEALS are always taught: 1. Keep your priorities in order 2. Know when to act without hesitation A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the ACLU, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that once and for all he was going to prove there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes!!!!! The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. “I’m waiting God, if you're real knock me off this platform!!!" Again after 4 minutes, the professor taunted God saying, "Here I am, God!!! I'm still waiting!!!" His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when a SEAL, just released from the Navy after serving in Afg...

Not really lost just slightly disoriented. Alaska is a really big place. Sometimes you forget just how big it is until you fly somewhere or take a drive on one of the few main roads. To give you some perspective, traveling in Alaska is like traveling no other place on earth. Alaska covers 570,373 square miles of land, plus an additional 45,000 square miles of water. It's the biggest state in the country. Alaska is 2.3 times the size of Texas , 10 times the size of Georgia or Florida ; and 499.7 times the size of frequent comparison victim Rhode Island . Alaska covers 20 percent of the total U.S. area. Alaska stretches across 57 degrees, 34 minutes of longitude between 52 and 54 degrees latitude. It’s BIG! The funny thing is there are only 4 major roads here, No interstate highways as we have no other state to connect with, only Canada . There are 5 other “main” roads but they mainly connect from the main “highway” into remote areas or villages and ...