Apology for 3:10 AM Transgression


I need to come clean since I pretended to be asleep last night after “The Incident”.

I would like to give you a little back story before I confess.  This past weekend was one of those times where there were multiple things going on and everyone is required to give way from the normal routines and go into that feeding frenzy mode that comes during these times.

We had the start of the Olympics with the athletic competition getting underway on Saturday.  Then add to that the happenings in Daytona with auto racing which included Danica Patrick’s debut in the Nationwide Series 300 and the running of the 52nd annual Daytona 500 NASCAR race and you have the makings of a stomach disaster.

To properly watch any of these events you have to prepare for them.  The Super Bowl has its ‘must haves’ to do it up just right.  There is always chili, hot dogs or hamburgers, nachos, and the chips & dip that set the mood for the afternoon.  Mine was no different where you add to the mix a crock pot full of Little Smoky Sausage Links with the required onions, diced celery, and BBQ sauce.

They simmered as they should and being the ‘Top Chef’ I am there was a little sampling every thirty minutes or so as they cooked.  Saturday’s fare went down nicely but set the precursor of things to come on Sunday.  I was up early for the start of the action in Daytona where the 4 hour time difference keeps one on their toes to ensure you do not miss anything.

The food was out early even as I was the only one watching the marathon that turned out to be this year’s 500 mile race.  A sample plate of this . . . some chips for that . . . a few peanut butter Reese’s Pieces along the way and the stage was set.

Fast forward to an early night of sleep and soundly cutting those zzzzz’s necessary for a good night’s rest.  Approaching three in the morning and it is quiet.  I’m sleeping soundly probably lightly snoring and my wife is zonked out after coming to bed around one AM and Gus, the dog is snuggled up to one of us trying to stay warm, on his back, feet up in the air having nice doggy dreams.

3:10 AM and my stomach must have been a mess as the gas forced its way out . . . loudly and forcibly.  I woke up but remained completely still . . . motionless hoping I did not wake anyone up.  About 15 seconds later I can hear my wife stirring . . . is she still asleep or did the noise wake her?  Is she looking to see if it was Gus or me doing the dirty deed?

Too late as the obnoxious smell made its way up from under the covers and I can now hear my wife muttering under her breath.  I can sense she is pissed as she starts fluffing the covers spreading the gas fumes throughout the room.  Again I lie there motionless hoping it would quickly pass . . . it did not.

She now is talking loudly, waving something trying to get the smell away from her making every effort to wake me up and lodge her ‘complaint’.  I knew better at the time and pretended to sleep hoping things would die down and everyone could go back to sleep.

The stench lingered and after a few minutes my wife got up and headed to another bedroom not needing a gas mask to finish her nights sleep.  Eventually Gus got up and jumped off the bed in search of anywhere else to sleep. 

I suffered through it and after about 30 minutes was able to return to the slumber I was experiencing before things “got out” of hand.  I awoke to go to work and luckily no one woke up to give me the third degree.  I escaped and had to deal with the reality later in the day when I returned home thus giving me this opportunity to apologize.

For my torn up stomach and the “blast from the past” I sincerely apologize to my wife and dog who has still looked at me funny all evening.  I cannot say it won’t happen again but hopefully not again until the Indy 500 in May.

Sorry just seems so little . . . now that the paint is blistering off the ceilings and walls after my little ‘toot’.

Ice

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Morrison Springs - Ponce de Leon, Florida

Image
Morrison Springs Ponce de Leon, Florida County road 181 Morrison Springs was one of our favorite dive spots on many of our Florida trips but it also had the most danger to it.  One of Northwest Florida’s best-kept secrets was known to more Georgia and Alabama folks than Floridians.  And they weren’t talking.  It had to do with the jewel of a Panhandle spring, a turquoise pool surrounded by stately cypress trees whose aerial roots stand taller than a man. Below the surface, clear, 68-degree water wells up from a spring cave source over 90 feet deep. Morrison Springs is just far enough off the beaten path in this sunny pine and cypress country to be special for any diver lucky enough to find and dive the site. The shallow pool reflects the overhead blue sky and if the water is clear and the bottom clean of silt, it resembles a giant sapphire.  Unlike some springs with a deep, black hole source, this one takes visitors gradually into its shallows from a gol...
Read more

Are Showing Your Nipples Appropriate Work Attire?

Image
Let me first say that personally, I have no problem with it at all. This has been kind of a weird week here in the north land with the first of many winter snowfalls’s to come and the landscape once again beautifully covered in the white stuff. It looks like the kids will have to put their Halloween costume on over a snowsuit again this year as the cold snowy stuff is here again. That is not what I wanted to write about tonight but was necessary to set up what I did want to write about. “Frosty nipples” are quite common here during most of the year and when things cool down on the cusp of winter probably more so. Work attire with tight shirts or low cut blouses that ‘make a statement’ during colder weather could be taken several ways by co-workers or visitors to your place of business. While you may not always be taken seriously by others in the office and some may have trouble looking you in the face, I say it's a freedom of rights issue. If you want to show o...
Read more

Biscuits and Whores

Image
Some of the best things about life I learned from Lonesome Dove. Great movie, excellent characters, and tells a story about how to live life. Augustus McCrae “It ain’t dying I’m talking about, it’s living.   I doubt it matters where you die, but it matters where you live.” I'm just tryin' to keep everything in balance, Woodrow. You do more work than you got to, so it's my obligation to do less. “Yesterday’s gone and we can’t get it back.” “I'm sure partial to the evening,' Augustus said. 'The evening and the morning.   If we just didn't have to have the rest of the dern day I'd be a lot happier.” Hat Creek Cattle Company Well we don't rent pigs and I figure it's better to say it right out front because a man that does like to rent pigs is . . . he's hard to stop. Biscuits “I never knew you to get excited about anything except biscuits maybe . . . and whores!”    Captain Woodrow Call to Augustus McCrae in Lonesome Dove. Whores L...
Read more