Any A-hole Experts Out There?

This question was recently asked on my Amazon Basin forums. There were several funny answers and takes on this subject. Here is mine:

I could not resist this.

The straight dope on Prep H and baggy eyes


Now the fun stuff . . .

Preparation-H Hemorrhoid Cream - 1.8 oz.

Preparation-H Hemorrhoidal Cream, 1.8 oz. (51g) tube - Large Size

Helps shrink swelling of irritated hemorrhoidal tissues.

Gives prompt temporary relief from the painful burning, itching and discomfort of hemorrhoids.

Indications: Temporarily shrinks hemorrhoidal tissue and gives temporary relief of the itching, burning and discomfort associated with hemorrhoids.


Directions: Adults- When practical, cleanse the affected area by patting or blotting with an appropriate cleansing tissue. Gently dry patting or blotting with toilet tissue or a soft cloth before application of Preparation H.


What about the kiddies? Do they apply to dirty areas?


Apply externally to the affected area up to 4 times daily, especially at night, in the morning or after each bowel movement. Preparation H is to be applied externally or in the lower portion of the anal canal only.


Up to 4 times daily? The maker's don't want you to enjoy it too much so they want everyone to limit themselves.


Preparation H comes with a special dispensing cap to help you apply it properly.


This one kills me. A special dispensing cap? After you use this, who's going to use that cap again?


Active Ingredient: Petrolatum 18%, Glycerin 12%, Shark Liver Oil 3%, Phenylephrine HCI 0.25%

The "Cooling Gel" has Vitamin E and Aloe!!

Sounds like a sunburn ointment, doesn't it?

And this one, If pregnant or breast-feeding, ask a health professional before use.


Where do they think she's going to use this? Let's see . . .



See what Bobby Brown does with Preparation H


Even old favorites get a face lift,


Soldier Field


I could go on and on about this, but I can't get this 20 minutes back in my life.

Ice

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