Slippery Subject

I don’t know if you have this ad in your part of the world but I keep seeing ads for KY Sensual Mist Personal Lubricant on television and it seems like they are playing it quite a bit here lately. I am not sure if that is because the advertisers are getting us prepared for another long hard winter with the extra hours of darkness that we get in Alaska during our winter months.

The set up for the ad is the husband is sitting on the couch adjusting the TV sports channels and the pretty wife is upstairs calling him on his cell phone and reading the directions from the label. (Like they will need any directions) The husband quickly tries to figure out how to record the sports program and hurries upstairs.

I keep making the same bad jokes in my mind and sometimes even saying out loud, just a little bit different each time . . .

"I like to be personally lubricated."

"I, personally, like to be lubricated."

"Personally, I like to be lubricated."

There are several others but you get the point of my wandering mind. Are there any other combinations you can think of to add to my sorted list? I need to be ready with more of them so I can bring my off the wall funny when the ad comes on again.

I used to make jokes about feminine hygiene products out on the market about some of the directions and possible side effects which made me crazy thinking about the endless possibilities when one has too active an imagination.

Here's a couple of quick analysis that comes to my mind:

KY Sensual Mist Personal Lubricant

This made perfect sense seeing as it is a small, handy size to have, you can easily carry it around with you on your person. So, I decided to try it out. It's a spray, so I thought I'd find something that needed lubricating. Now, I wasn't aware that the good people of Kentucky (KY) were famous for lubricants, but, who am I to judge? I’ve been to the Derby a couple of times and have had some great times there so this might be right up my alley.

My grand daughter’s bedroom door hinge squeaked as well as my wife’s closet door, so this was the perfect opportunity to try it out. It smelled lovely (KY bluegrass, perhaps?) and went on lightly, and, with no mess. Problem solved as those noisy doors were finally lubricated and quiet. Since I'm kinda a home repair expert (plumbing contractor at one time) I noticed there was a reasonable amount of warmth to the spray but I don't know why it needed to be warm, but who’s to say.

So, all in all the KY lubricant proved to be a good product, and, I'd like to thank the great people from the Bluegrass State for coming up with it.

Off to another tangent I just thought of . . .

I could just hear me saying to my wife, "Hey honey, we have to have KY sex for my blog.” Now she is not too sure exactly what it is I write about in my blog or what a blog is exactly as she is not all that interested in computers.

I could say, “Go get us some of that Happy Rainbow* stuff."

"Happy rainbow?"

"Rain Banana surprise, Vanilla mist, Summer Fog, you know something that sounds like a douche product. Could you go to the store and get it?" (Men we could never shop for that stuff)

The product description: "Personal lubricant." I really question this statement. I mean is there any lubricant that is impersonal? Like a lubricant you apply through a glory hole in the bathroom wall of a sleazy bar or something? Oh no, I think just went a little too far there, didn't I?

The functionality: Okay noooooow I understand why it's called Sensual Mist. You spray it on. Like you would a sticky lock, or a germy bathroom and that makes a spray mist. The whole process is a little mechanical, if I may say so. Or as my wife has put it, "I get it. When you lube up, your hand gets all goopy. So they're just trying to take the goopy hand out of the equation."

In other words, it's for couples who don't want to actually touch each other anymore and maybe are just going through the motions. I don’t know just a thought trying to sort all this out. I can just imagine who they recruited for their focus groups to test this product. What I would have paid to be behind that 2-way mirror to see the responses, and not just for the free M&Ms given out to complete the survey.

Now what did I do with that old copy of the Kama Sutra?


* It’s amazing what you can find while Googling a subject.

Ice

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