Dogs and Eagles . . . or

Why is our National mascot trolling for tourist?

It doesn’t seem to matter what time of year it is as they seem to be here all year long so if you want to see eagles, bald or otherwise, Alaska is the place to come for it. There is the Bald Eagle Festival in Haines and the “eagle lady” in Homer so if you want ‘em, we got ‘em and there’s an entire industry devoted to helping you see them. From beaches, rivers, planes, even your bed and breakfast windows there’s someone in Alaska willing to take your money and show you eagles. But sometimes with a great new industry there sometimes are a few problems. As time goes on and more people come to the great State of Alaska to see these incredible scavengers with graceful flight what is happening is the eagles are getting a little bit used to the tourists. Alaskans are a hearty lot with a great sense of adventure and a pioneer spirit and Alaskan eagles are getting some of that Alaskan entrepreneurial spirit themselves and are starting to regard the tourists as prey or at least having a little fun with them.

I have yet to witness a single eagle attack on a tourist, but I have been told stories numerous times. As yet I have not quite had these stories substantiated and I am starting to think they are told as part of the tradition of Cheechako/tourist baiting that goes on from time to time. With our long cold dark winter nights there has to be something to entertain us. This may be an attempt by real Alaskans to sort through the herd as it were to send the unworthy back to the lower 48 where life is soft and easier on ones nature. Now that I’ve lived in Alaska awhile I’m reporting the stories as truth so there you have it.

The most famous story I can recall concerns the most scorned of all things someone could bring here, a tourist’s miniature poodle. Alaska as you know is BIG . . . covering over one fifth the land mass of the lower 48 states. We tend to do things in a grand way . . . mainly because of the grandeur found within its places of travel. Alaskans don’t particularly like anything miniature and poodles . . . don’t even go there or talk about it. Now, to be truthful a life long Alaskan might be forgiven for having a small dog, kind of like having a peculiar cousin my family didn’t talk much about when I lived in Georgia years ago, but for a tourist to bring one into the state is sacrilege. If this story didn’t actually happen someone would probably make it up. Go figure.

Well this tourist was touring around enjoying all the beautiful sights in Alaska and along the way had stopped to fill the RV’s gas tank at a roadside station. His dog a small poodle was out along the grassy area doing what dogs do when finally let outside, poodling, leg lifted, nearby. Cue the eagle soaring above looking for that easy meal. The symbol of America swoops down in that ever graceful arc that eagles do, grabs lifted leg, and suddenly sails away with poodle in tow like a salmon grabbed from the river. It is a wondrous sight to see as this magnificent bird of prey continues the circle of life in the far north.

Moral of this story: Don’t bring your sissy little dog to Alaska and certainly don’t let him lift his leg in our state without proper supervision. Spend your money and go home. In fact, there’s a bumper sticker that says something like that. I like the one, “If it’s called tourist season, why can’t we shoot em?”

There are also a few stories of eagle toupee' captures. Obviously tourists again because real Alaskans don’t wear toupees but I’ve heard rumors of a wig or two, but I’m not sure I believe them. What self respecting Alaskan eagle would wear a toupee'? There may be a few bald eagles in the lower 48 who might super glue one on.

I do have an actual reported news story. In Homer, Alaska (bumper sticker: A quaint little fishing village with a drinking problem) the town council is contemplating an ordinance against eagle feeding (see link above). People around Homer have been throwing fish around hither and yon to attract the eagles and it’s been a bit too successful. The eagles being so smart and the scavengers they are now assume all humans have food and keep a watchful eye to search their raincoat pockets. This has gotten to be not a good thing.

A woman was walking her two large dogs and an eagle attacked the smaller, ninety-pound animal. A real Alaskan woman had to kick the eagle to make it release the dog. The article did not relate what the larger than ninety pound dog did but it could be seen hiding behind a nearby piling. I’m guessing the dog lived with that kicking woman happily for awhile and felt reasonably assured. On walks now down the Spit he keeps an eye skyward looking for the unexpected.

Please Note: To those of you with pens poised to write your “Shame to the poodle hater” letters, I do not hate poodles. No poodles were harmed in the writing of this blog. I am personally against eagles, bald or shameless toupee’ wearing ones from grabbing poodles by any of their poodle parts and flying off with them, but I must say it would be a sight to see.

Also, I have never in my past, and hopefully will never kick an eagle. I have a 100+ pound Golden Retriever named Levi and I am a reluctant animal lover tending to a guinea pig of my youngest daughter named “Pig”. My dog is great and loves his outings with me any chance he can go with me. He loves the snow and cold weather choosing to play outside in the fresh snow making ‘doggie shaped snow angels’ until his paws and fur are matted with ice and snow before coming back inside for a long nap. Levi loves Pig and shares apples and carrots every day and seems to enjoy lying in front of the television next to Pig’s pen watching a show or catching up on the 24 hours a day news channel that is usually on. I would tend to say that Levi is one of the most knowledgeable animals on current events and the latest political scandal.

Ice