The irony of Peeps and the Jesus connection

And what ever happened to “Peep Etiquette” now that computers are taking over?

As any loyal WalMart (that’s the only Big Box Store here in Alaska) shopper has probably noticed recently, Easter is right around the corner. Along with the coming of this entirely religious holiday also comes the perennial holiday favorite, the Peep.

I knew all along since my childhood and my upbringing that there was a Jesus connection between Peeps and Easter but I did not realize what it was until I traveled to this eastern Pennsylvania town.

Years ago I was driving to an auto race in Nazareth Pennsylvania and by chance discovered another town not far away called Bethlehem. Not one to let things go unnoticed I realized that this Nazareth and Bethlehem might not be in anyone's Holy Land; they're in Pennsylvania's rolling Lehigh Valley. The area was filled with biblical references and quaint little houses dot the landscape. It was not long before I made a discovery that brought back so many childhood memories.

It hit me like a ton of bricks falling from a mason’s scaffold or that epiphany you experience when all of the cosmic cogs align themselves just so . . . there it was before my eyes . . . “Just Born” . . . a factory we all know and love during that spring holiday . . . Easter.

This Mecca I've unknowingly traveled to seem decidedly secular. It's Bethlehem's Just Born factory, the breeding ground for the most ubiquitous of all Easter candies: sugar-encrusted marshmallow Peeps and their cousins, marshmallow Bunnies. I had found enlightenment about an age-old Easter tradition in this most unexpected place.

The Just Born factory seemed the ideal place to start a Peeps-related side trip and I still arrived at the racetrack on time. It sits off a wide industrial street in Bethlehem, a sprawling town of 72,000 often pronounced "Bethl'm" by the locals. *The company moved here in 1932, nine years after Russian immigrant Sam Born founded it in New York. Around 1953, Just Born acquired another candy manufacturer, Rodda. This was fortuitous. Rodda's products included an early version of Peeps: little marshmallow birds squeezed out of tubes and hand-decorated in a laborious process. Just Born began streamlining the process, and the Peeps phenomenon was on its way.

To some, this sugary treat may simply be an oddly squishy marshmallow coated in oddly colored sugar. However, to those of us who grew up expecting to find a basket of Peeps every Easter morning, these little morsels represented an institution.

With this tradition, there is also an unspoken set of rules regarding Peep consumption. As the years have passed from generation to generation I think there was a period of time that someone forgot to share the legacy of peeps with our children. Either that or since there is nowhere to put a battery in it so it does not carry the same excitement as our younger days. In my childhood we excitedly awaited our Easter treats.

It comes with much pain and anguish that I must now speak, and also type, these unspoken ordinances. However, with every growing year it seems that the population spins farther away from the true meaning of the Peep and is forgetting how to truly enjoy this fine product. So please, allow me to explain the finer points of the Peep.

For starters, you only eat Peeps at Easter. There is no excuse for eating a Peep at any other time of the year. The simple fact that the Peep Company makes Peeps in the shape of Valentine hearts, Christmas Trees, and Halloween ghosts is simply sacrilegious. I am sure that this tragedy has been the result of a change in philosophy of the parent corporation behind the Peep. Anyone with a true understanding of the Peep knows that this treat is for Easter only, and could in fact prove hazardous to one's health if eaten at any other time of the year. So yes folks, eating the Peep Christmas trees will most likely kill you. With the Valentines Peep, however, death is almost certain. Just kidding but you will not find me or my kids eating them other than the spring Easter season.

Once we have fully recalled the seasonal importance of the Peep, it is now necessary that we understand the importance behind the Peep coloration. Originally, Peeps came in two colors: yellow and pink. In keeping with the tradition of the Peep, it is essential that one only consumes Peeps that are either yellow or pink. It is essential that we as a Peep consuming population unilaterally reject the purple and aquamarine Peeps. The mere idea of a purple Peep is an assault not only on humanity, but also on the noble Peep itself.

Finally, we must then determine which shape and color combinations are truly appropriate in order to fully appreciate the glory known as Peeps. The only, I repeat; only Peep configurations that should be eaten are yellow chickens and pink bunnies. To many, this will seem only logical. However, I will take a minute to explain this rationale to those of you unaccustomed to the Peep world.

Working off of the statement made in the prior paragraph, one can only eat yellow and pink peeps. Between the two possible Peep shapes, the chicken and the rabbit, the chicken is naturally represented as being yellow in color and therefore it has first dibs of sort on the yellow sugar coating. Then by default, the rabbits graciously accept the pink coating and truly do look most delicious encrusted in sugar of that specific hue of neon pink.

So there you have it folks, the fine secrets of the Peep world. In summary, this year you should only be eating Peeps around Easter. During this holiday period, you should only eat yellow chicken and pink rabbit Peeps. This is the way of our forefathers, this is the way of the world, and this is the way of freedom and democracy as we know it. We must hold on to this noble tradition of Peep selection and consumption if we as a people are to continue down our glorious path of global domination, or at least moral superiority. So please, eat and enjoy the Peeps. But remember the reason why we eat them, and the responsibilities you have to the past in upholding this classic, if only American legacy.

If you find yourself wandering around the rolling hills of eastern Pennsylvania and want a treat stop in for a visit to ‘Just Born’ and take a peep.

May the peeps be with you!

Ice