Obama Mutt or All I ever wanted to be “First Mutt”

The election is over but I still have to have a little fun with this before it gets to boring and I’m locked into the winter observations found here in the Arctic northland. Watching the election night speeches were a mixed bag for me but I thought both men did a great job both victory and defeat? It was great seeing the mix of all those involved in the celebrations around the country. Hopefully it will continue as we work through the upcoming difficult times we are facing.

One of the comments on election night was getting a new dog for his family so their stay in the White House would be like most other first families. I guess having ‘normalcy’ is a good thing but if they have not had a dog in the past getting a new puppy to ‘break in’ will have some added entertainment for those covering the political beat. I cannot wait to see those stories in the near future.

He expounded on his pet plans during Friday’s press conference.

“With respect to the dog, this is a major issue,” Obama said with a smile. “I think it’s generated more interest on our Web site than just about anything.”

The President elect said his family has several conditions that have to be met in order to secure a dog fit for the White House.

“We have two criteria that have to be reconciled. One: is that Malia is allergic so it has to be hypoallergenic. There are a number of breeds that are hypoallergenic,” he said. “On the other hand, our preference would be to get a shelter dog, but obviously a lot of shelter dogs are mutts — like me. So whether we’re going to be able to balance these two things I think is a pressing issue in the Obama household.”

The economy is in a nuclear meltdown and were worried about is a hypoallergenic dog! Can you see where we are headed?

Not any questions to the effect of Mr. Obama in exactly what is this ‘change’ your planning on doing to fix the economy. I know it would be a little hard and he has not had any “OJT” so far but a little peak into the mindset would be appreciated by everyone in the Country. That would probably be like asking a magician how he pulls a rabbit out of his hat. A magic trick is what this is at this point because the financial advisers are going to tell him that what he has to do is exactly what McCain was going to do. Lower capital gains tax to increase the business spending and the creation of jobs. The idealistic “Change” and rhetoric that Obama has been spewing for the past two years that he has based his whole campaign on is gone as reality sets in.

This whole press release basically had no real information and at best was a dog and pony show. I hope he can do a better job at running the country.

Obama saying that the new puppy promised to his young girls will be a “mutt like me.” Now I realize that there’s probably a team of experts now combing every humane society, pound, and rescue group in the country in search of the perfect ‘mutt like me’, but as a seasoned dog owner, I thought I’d weigh in with some insight that may prove valuable in their search.

Unfortunately, right out of gate we hit a serious roadblock. It seems 10-year-old Malia has allergies, so they’ll probably be looking to one of the ‘low dander’ or hairless breeds. That immediately rules out one close to my heart, the Alaskan Malamute. If you enjoy eating, breathing, pooping dog hair, and removing it from your clothes every 2.2 seconds then a Mal is your breed! Otherwise not so much.

With respect to this allergy issue, what fits the bill is pretty exotic and not your everyday run of the mill ‘pound dogs’ - American Hairless Terrier, Chinese Crested, Peruvian Inca Orchid (yes, that’s a dog), and the Xoloitzcuintli (Mexican Hairless). Moreover, seeing as they want it to come from a pound, the odds that they’re going to end up with a ‘world’s ugliest dog’ contestant have just shot through the roof.

So at this point, I’d like to pause and make a suggestion that may be a little controversial . . . I think we need to get some top notch scientists on the case. Generally speaking, I am not one for gene splicing, but the man is about to be President of the United States. We can’t have an animal like this running around the White House.

Imagine a whole generation of children growing up with this ugly mug staring at them from the front page and splashed across CNN! We don’t have enough child psychologists to go around! That’s why I think some top notch scientific minds need to get their @sses into a lab pronto. We’ve got enough heartburn medications already. Put down the beaker, and let’s get some smart folks focused on developing a hypoallergenic Golden Retriever like my ole’ Levi (I still miss him). He would be a great addition to any family though I don’t think he’d see Moose wandering around the White House grounds. Oh well.

Better yet, in keeping with the spirit of our President-elect, let’s mix up a diverse cultural brew. Maybe a little something from Asia would be in order? Chows can be snippy, and Akita’s are a little scary sometimes. Maybe part Shih Tzu or Japanese Spitz? They can be cute and cuddly if you like yapping dogs.

Then maybe a little something out of Africa? An Afghan was good enough for Barbie, and I think that’s an argument that would work with Michelle. Again, the Basenjis and Rhodesian Ridgebacks wouldn’t be my first choice for young kids, but the lab can probably whip up a personality fix or partial lobotomy for that?

Europe? Don’t mind if I do! I’m kind of digging the idea of a Bernese Mountain Dog or a Saint Bernard. Set him up with a little wooden barrel and maybe fill it with Tang for the kids to play hide and seek around the many rooms of the White House. That could add some fun to a place with little if any children running around.

Now let’s stir in a little American ingenuity and sprinkle in an addition from the ‘painfully cute yet descriptive name’ category. That’s right, the high-priced American mutt, perhaps

some Labradoodle or Puggle? Maybe a little Cockinese, Malchi, or a Beabull? Hell, let’s just go crazy & add some Bichpoo.

This would be a dog America could get behind. The Satyr or Centaur for the 21st century in the USA, in fact that gives me an even better idea . . . why not throw a little Pekinese named Cosmo in there just to keep it interesting? No one needs to know.

How long does it take to gestate a dog anyway? 54-72 days (according to answerbag.com)??? It could be ready in time for January 20, 2009.

Perfect.

Ice