Who thinks up this crap?
With grandkids in the house there are times lately that we have had to ‘child proof’ some things as now the kids are mobile and getting into things. The drawers in the kitchen and dining room seem to draw them over for a look see and as they watch us put trash away in the cans in the cabinet they immediately go over and open the doors. The trash cabinets are not too bad but getting into the ones under the sink could prove to be a problem. There are the cleaning supplies, those little dishwasher tablets with the little blue ball embedded on it. There is the sponges bought in bulk at Costco and my cooking can for my grease drippings. I guess it is time to look for those little locks to put on the cabinet doors and drawers.
I head out in search of these nifty little devices after my Saturday morning breakfast and add it to my chores for the morning. What I discovered in the years since I had a small child in the house surprised me and makes me wonder who thinks up this crap. There were many products to make your home a safer place ranging from the above mentioned items to electrical outlet covers, padding for crib sides and the “port-a-crib” for that take anywhere baby family.
I stumbled across a little product that totally blew me away. I loved the modesty in their product claims. I found a "toilet lock." For those of you who haven't had toddlers in the past few decades, a toilet lock keeps the lid down so your toddler's head . . . or your keys, your jewelry, etc. don't go in the bowl.
Everyone needs their toilet lid locked down for the moments when that emergency urge to take a dump strikes and you are wondering probably out loud, “Marge, where is that darn key to unlock the toilet? I have to go before the kids arrive! Uh oh . . . too late.”
Well, I was reading the box for on the toilet lock (you can see why I'm too busy to post more often), and I noticed that it states that it "Helps keep the toilet lid locked."
No.
No.
No.
If you are like me then nobody wants a toilet lock that "helps" keep the toilet lid down and locked. That's like getting a surgeon that will help you with your triple bypass. The toilet lock is pretty much the beginning and end of the whole toilet locking regime. It's right there in the name: Toilet LOCK. Maybe if I bought a product called Toilet Lock Helper, that would be a different story . . .
And there was the sale at my local Fred Meyer. They've reduced or, as they put it "knocked down," prices throughout the store, including baby items. So there, in the baby aisle . . . they had balloons announcing "Knocked Down Baby Savings."
Now remember, we live in the land of no child left behind, and we are not sure what the new administration is going to call their education program so we have to be prepared for anything. This is not a special sale at the “Mensa gift shop” so I'm thinking if you promote Knocked Down Baby Savings, it's just a matter of time before you hear this:
"Waaaahaaa!"
"Waaaahaaa!"
"Waaaahaaa!"
[Hurried customer running to customer service]
"I just knocked down three of 'em. How much do I save?"
It’s the time we now live in!
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