What is lonely?

What is lonely?

I have been asked by several people since I started my travels if I am lonely traveling alone over the many miles I have gone so far?  I think the thing about the question is that it really leaves a lot to be defined.
Lonely compared to what?  Compared to before I started travelling?  Compared to you?  Compared to the locals and people I meet along the way or where I am?  Compared to a “typical” single guy my age?  Compared to a married guy with children and an active social life?

For one thing there are many aspects of loneliness.  You can be lonely even if surrounded by people who know you because you feel they don’t “get” you. You can be lonely in a long-term relationship because you realize it isn’t going great and possibly over.  You can be lonely because you are stuck in a routine (at home or work) and not having deep conversations with people.  There are so many ways you may feel lonely in groups of people or all alone.

It just seems so obvious to many people that I must feel lonely as a solo traveler since I don’t have anyone physically or constantly there with me.  I wish I did since sharing adventures and travels is one of the things I love the best in my life.

But to me loneliness depends way more on the person’s mindset than on their situation.  By getting over the shy feelings and maintaining some personality when I meet new people, I can usually make new friends quickly no matter where I am.  Some places have been tougher to do this, but with persistence I always make one or several friends along the way.

People may say, “You can’t make a true friend in just a short time!”  I tend to disagree with that statement since over the years I have made many friends online having never met.  Once meeting in real life it was like we were best buddies forever. 
My Canadian friend Russ is a great example.  We met online almost fifteen years ago and he has probably been my best friend over the years even when we have not seen each other for a while.  When I would drive through Canada on my way to or from Alaska he was always a stop during my road trip.

I used to say about my ex-wife, “She never met a stranger only a friend she hadn’t met yet”.  She had a way she could comfortably talk to anyone when just meeting for the first time.  I keep that philosophy while on the road opening myself up to so far some pretty incredible meetings. When I have stopped by the roadside to give cold water to several lone bicyclists who shared their story of travelling while I shared mine, it opens up a whole new meaning to travelling.  People are on the road for a multitude of reasons and everyone has a story which is pretty cool if you have the chance to stop and listen.  Others in places to eat, rest areas along the way and at the many attractions where I have stopped, especially when I pull out Placido Flamingo to take photos or request others to share in my photo opportunity.
I don’t restrict my definition of friend to the sadly restrictive (for most of us) one of someone who I have known since childhood.  No matter where you are on the road, if you are open to making a new friend either with other travelers such as myself, or (more ideally) with those from the location I am visiting.  Hopefully I will never feel alone.

Ice

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