Diary of Icewind’s December Snow Shoveling
What fun! We received a nice present today, over 17 inches of snow with another 8-10 inches expected overnight. I sit here sorely trying to hold my arms and fingers in a position to type and its killing me. So here goes my diary from December and my fun adventures in the far north.
*December 8:*
It started to snow. The first snow for December and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Van Gogh Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
*December 9:*
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world? Moving to
*December 12:*
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. What a major disappointment tonight. My neighbor Reggie tells me not to worry we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas Day would be just awful! Reggie says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again as this is the “hillside” where we do get snow. I don't necessarily believe him and or think that's possible. Reggie is such a nice man and I'm glad he's our neighbor.
*December 14:*
Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night, that’s way cool. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life, a little workout before leaving for work in the mornings, how refreshing! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I did not realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so in the cold air.
*December 15:*
20 inches forecast for today. I sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer and bought new snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. I stocked the freezer full of food and my wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We are in
*December 16:*
More snow mixed with Ice this morning. I fell on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
*December 17:*
Still way below freezing today and the roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on the bed to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her and you know that’s not possible. Guess I should've bought that wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right and I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
*December 20:*
Electricity's back on now, but had another 14" of the white stuff last night. I did more shoveling and it took all day. Snowplow came by twice making more piles but somewhat clearing my driveway. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. I called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower, after they quit laughing told me they're sold out. They might have another shipment sometime in March. I think they're lying. Reggie says I have to shovel or the city will have it done for me and bill me at double the rate. I think he's lying.
*December 22:*
Reggie was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and by the time I got dressed, I was too tired to shovel and I had to pee. Tried to hire my neighbor Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think he is lying too.
*December 23:*
Only 2" of snow today and it warmed up to zero. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she . . . nuts??? Why didn't she tell me she wanted to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's also lying.
*December 24:*
6" Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack and if I ever catch the guy who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow for sure. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the snowplow.
*December 25:*
Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the =3D3D@x@!x!x1 snow tonight. We’re snowed in and the idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow right now! Then on top of that the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.
*December 26:*
Still snowed in. At least it’s a holiday so I can rest between periods of shoveling. The wife is really getting on my nerves as its not getting cleared out fast enough for her to go do the after Christmas shopping.
*December 27:*
Temperature dropped to -10 and the pipes froze. Thank God I’m a plumber and could fix it without calling someone.
*December 28:*
Warmed up to about -5. We are still snowed in but I am making headway now. This is driving me crazy as my arms and back are starting to look like Popeye’s!
*December 29:*
10 more inches fell today. Reggie says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
*December 30:*
Roof did cave in this morning. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head from me hitting him with the shovel. The wife decided to head south to the lower 48 to her dad’s house. 9 more inches are predicted tonight.
*December 31:*
Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling. Happy New Year!!!
*January 3:*
I feel so good now. I just love those little pills they keep giving me but why am I tied to the bed? I think I’m lying.
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