Growing older sux sometimes . . .
Or what I discovered about home remedies!
For some people as you get older there are many weird things that happen to your body. Things change, move around, and just create new things to deal with.
For some your eyes do funny things and you have to start wearing bifocal glasses so you can read. For others those parts of the body that were at one time firm and uplifting have fallen or gone to other unknown places. There is the stomach which was once flat and firm that has seemed to bulge out of nowhere and for some even Dunlap . . . its dun lapped over your belt.
One of the minor problems I had since a young age due originally from the bouncing motion of flying helicopters was a condition known as hemorrhoids. Not a pleasant condition when they flare up and one that luckily is only a sometime occurrence.
When I have a flare up or actually a ‘drop out’ there is a medication I have sparingly used for relief of the itch and burning sensation called Preparation H which comes in a small tube or now in some 4”x4” little medicated wipes. These are good for a laugh when you travel as you can leave them on top in your carry-on luggage so when those nosy TSA agents want to look through your bag the first thing they see is your butt wipes. They tend to just give it a quick look sending you on your way. Try it the next time you travel, it’s a good laugh.
Anyway, many people are creatures of habit and one of mine is to get up early in the morning and head to the bathroom so I can shower, use the toilet and get dressed. Many mornings I do this with only the nightlight on in the bathroom as I can usually make my way through all of my chores easily in the dim surroundings.
On one particular morning recently in a half asleep state finishing my toilet duties decided I would so some self medicating before I dressed eliminating some of that persistent itching that had been going on lately. This is a good reason to learn to read better in that low light or turn on that overhead to ensure everything turns out ok. I had finished my shower and then used the toilet and as I was in my final dry off stage figured I would grab the tube of Preparation H since I did not have any of the little pads.
Instead of the tube I was expecting my granddaughter had switched restrooms the night before when she brushed her teeth leaving her tooth paste lying on the counter where the other tube normally sat.
I noticed that the cap was off and the tube was squeezed into a funny shape later that night and realized what had happened. Needless to say the tube of toothpaste was thrown in the trash . . . and it was funny that my butt didn't feel any better during the day . . . but I will have to say without any reservation . . . it was Minty fresh.
Got an itchy butt . . . next time try my home remedy . . . tooth paste!
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