Your Perfect Life . . . yeah right!
Aaargh . . . ’tis the season once again for those yuletide letters from family and friends about the activities of everyone’s perfect family and overachieving children.
Do you get them too? They sometimes have a tendency to drive me nuts.
Why, I ask you? Can someone explain this strange phenomenon to me? I have never considered writing one of those letters, and frankly, I have never figured out what makes people write one. Is it a way for family members to get under everyone else's skin by stating (bragging) about their trips, children's accomplishments, or that big promotion at work? Yuck to all of those.
The several letters I have received this year were really painful to read. I could almost substitute my own thoughts to make them somewhat funny so I at least could get through the thing. A paragraph each devoted to the children; how talented she is in ballet, how great he is doing in school, how the baseball team couldn’t do without him. Such great kids, wish mine were like that.
What about Bob . . . who set the records for sales and was nominated for Father of the Year. How their careers and family lives are in perfect balance, down to moms (wives) coiffed hair and manicured nails. Give me a break.
How about some honesty here folks?
I’d really rather hear that Sally grew her first wart this year . . . on her nose, and little Billy has a screaming fit (hissy fit in the South where I grew up) every time he sees a clown. Maybe how the husband, in between his fantastic success at work, broke his coccyx bone (ass) showing off see-sawing skills to his kids, and won $500 on
I like the inner chuckle I get when I read the subtle bragging or spin put on things which brings about a bigger chuckle or full blown laugh because I know that these letters don’t tell the whole story . . . and I enjoy the irony of keeping in touch with people who are only showing the best face to them, and never letting them get too close.
What is a functional dysfunctional family?
That is probably what we have between my
I decided this year to sit down and discuss our immediately family in depth. We are one day from the longest night of the year so this is a perfect time to put pen to paper or really fingers to keyboard and start this letter with what has happened in 2008 from
Tis the season to drink straight from the bottle so before I get too carried away the main reason for writing is to tell everyone Happy Holidays. Yeah, right, as we’ve had a wonderful year here in our Arctic Northland.
Things started off with a bang as last Christmas ended with my daughter starting a daily routine of vomiting anywhere from 3 to fifteen times a day. This went on for over 5 months with multiple trips to various hospitals and the constant lack of understanding or proper diagnosis of her problem. Her body weight dropped from 110 pounds to 82 over that time period and she was well past looking like a child from
Her graduation day and first mother’s day were happy occasions spent in the hospital with needle pricks and IV’s hanging all around her. Fun times were had by everyone with the many nights sleeping on that fold down recliner. The food in the cafeteria being eaten by the many families who were going through their own hell as family members sick or having some unknown malady diagnosed.
I would talk about that new Rig (Alaskan for truck) I bought and took out a 7-year note but to be honest I would be lucky if I could make the first payment within 90 days of its due date so I guess there are no new vehicles in our family anytime soon.
*Sips another drink enjoying the fire hoping for some more snow before Christmas.
My wife was out of work this year almost as much as her Doctor she works for . . . there was the time off for the flu (about a week) then there was the five or six weeks off to be with my daughter in the hospital. Next we had a few days off when my granddaughter kicked the edge of my bed and broke two of her toes. The cell phone photo of the toes pointing over 45 degrees from the other toes was a nice painful touch but the phone call from her in the emergency room was priceless. I think there were a couple more weeks off for other maladies before the recent 5 weeks off with back/shoulder problems. Add that time to the doctor’s frequent trips and it could almost be like a stay at home wife. And to think there was even a dinner or two in there every couple of weeks. Now don’t get me wrong as that is not a complaint since we are not a sit down and eat together family by any shape of the imagination.
We live with the ‘family compound’ theory having my father and brother in law living downstairs. Everyone is on different schedules so at times it seems like ships passing in the night. Everyone has different personalities and needs so it is a constant blend of getting the dog to shut up from barking (a nice shock collar fixed that problem) to the constant musical chair syndrome of many vehicles parked around the house. We do have plenty of parking but sometimes it feels like we should hang a sign out front for Icewind’s Used Cars and other assorted junk.
Having a four year old in the house at our age is trying sometimes and not what was expected but we’ll make it ok as I plan to work until I’m 77 when she will graduate from high school. Recently she has allowed reason to come into her being and doesn’t always throw tantrums every time something does not go her way. The carrot on the string held high with the promise of taking her on vacation sometime if she acts better and not throw fits is starting to make the days easier and the sting of her ‘being four’ jumping around all over the place or fighting with Gus the dog. She does ok in school and certainly not in the gifted classes as she tends to run in the mostly average circles. She colors inside the lines now and we are thankful for that as we were starting to wonder if she was going to need some special tutoring in the art of coloring. I have always tried to make sure she used all of the colors of the rainbow and not get stuck with a one or two color palette which might limit her later in life.
I’m no picnic either as my wife never has to fight for the remote control since I stay in my office at night with my blog, work, or television. Sometimes I get to play my computer game but not as much as it used to be. My health this year has been pretty good if you forget the constant gas, hence the name Icewind and those hemorrhoid problems I have written about in the past. The long hours and pressure do not seem to bother me as I try to be like that duck you see in the water . . . calm on the surface but paddling like hell underneath. I live in my office on one schedule and my wife on another watching HGTV or any animal show along with a mixture of the Sci-Fi network for the scary movies and everyone is a happy camper.
I guess this time of year it is supposed to be, “What a Wonderful Life” but after a few drinks its probably more of a “Married with Children” sort of life. All of it amusing during our long cold winter nights.
Cheers everyone, drink up and have a Happy Holiday Season.
Comments