Wayward Adventure . . . MS & the Brothel
I have a friend whose brother has MS (Muscular Dystrophy) and he recently turned 32 which seems pretty incredible since many people die in their teens and twenties from this disease.
There was a small get together of friends and family who celebrated with him so everyone was happy to spend quality time among friends. While my friend and I were there we wheeled his brother into the room as he has been wheelchair bound for about 15 years now. We ordered pizza from one of the local delivery places and everyone had a great afternoon. As the party wound down to just a couple of people left we headed over to the side of the room to talk a bit before we left to meet up with some other friends.
While we were talking there was a request by his brother which kinda flipped us both out for a minute. The request was he wanted to have sex before he was unable to and his disease progressed to a state where he would be incapacitated. We did not know what to say or how to respond to this request so there was this awkward time period where everyone just looked at each other before we all broke out in laughter.
My mind quickly wandered to all sorts of thoughts . . . Was he being funny by putting us on? Was he totally serious? What was his brother thinking? Should we entertain the idea? If so, how would one go about this request? Would this be dangerous to an ill person? After a couple minutes of awkwardness the conversation picked back up with the three of us going over what he had in mind and if it was even possible.
Friendship is a funny thing that makes people do all sorts of things. I remember in Lonesome Dove how a friend (Woodrow Call) carried his buddy (Gus McCrae) 2000 miles to bury him because he gave him his word.
(Woodrow Call: [after burying Gus by the stream in Texas
I know of other friendships where people would give freely of themselves without hesitation when asked because of strong relationships and wanting to be there for someone else.
One might think that it is a simple request . . .
Where would one start?
There are not any brothels in Alaska like in . . . say Nevada so how would one go about looking for a place to take someone. Is there anything in the phone book that would help out? I found nothing under ‘brothel’ or ‘whorehouse’ . . . there was nothing under ‘house of ill repute’ but I did find out there is a “House of Harley-Davidson” on Spenard which has been known in the past to be an area of ‘street’ prostitution. There was also a “House of Prayer for All Nations” around the corner on Minnesota ADA
My friend and I are now on a quest to find a place for his brother to go which added to this crazy adventure. How does one ask other friends who were not taking part in the original conversation for the information? What kind of friends do we have that would “Know” where to go? Everything was totally weird and funny as we scoured Anchorage
I am reminded of the concept “Six Degrees of Separation” that everyone will know someone else in the world by who you know and who they know by going down six people to get to any other person. In Alaska we could probably only go down the list about four people before we could get to everyone in Alaska
By now we have several people involved in our search for ‘human fulfillment’ and the odd thing is . . . no one is looking at this as strange or out of the ordinary. Does that say anything about the people we know? Has the level of humanity grown to such a baseline where there is no need of aspiring to lofty ambitions . . . just a basic instinct of existence?
After a couple weeks of searching and interactions amongst many people we seemed to be narrowing down to a successful outcome. There was a friend of a friend, of a friend, of a friend who knew somewhere we would find a lady who would engage our friend in his quest to ‘become a man’ at the age of 32. Luckily this was not a ‘street walker’ or person of ill references but a kind soul with a big heart. We discussed our findings with him and wanted to set up a meeting to figure out if things would work out or not. The three of us headed over to the house at the given time where we hoped to break the ice between them and also to help out if needed with getting him inside the house or any other obstacle we would encounter since this house was not set up for a handicap person to enter.
There were several moments that were both funny and sad at the same time seeing how the plight of the handicapped have to deal with numerous situations that most of us take for granted. In our quest to grant a wish we found out many things about ourselves that maybe were not obvious when we began. Were we some underground insane version of “Make a Wish” or “Foundation for a Better Life”? Growing . . . Humor . . . and the obvious fulfillment of someone’s dream or wish was our main concern but we found in this silly situation so much more that is somewhat hard (no pun intended) to explain.
The meeting between everyone was slightly off balance in the first few minutes but quickly was eased with some jokes and laughter. She made everyone feel at ease as her shoulder length brown hair bounced as she talked and gestured while talking with us.
There were a couple of funny moments as she asked several questions about his condition. The first question was a little sensitive as she asked if he was retarded as she said she was clueless about MS. His brother gave her an overview about the disease and his condition. We jokingly told her his only retardation had been he wanted this experience for about 12 years now. She asked coyly “if it worked” not knowing if it was like a person with a spinal injury. Everyone laughed and he assured her it worked . . . he thinks.
The last question brought with it the love of a brother as she asked . . . “Is it clean”? Brother had to wash ‘it’ so everyone would be happy about ‘it’s’ cleanliness bringing with this chore the true love one brother has for the other. It was a crack up moment. Would it make the cell phone photo wall of shame, fame, & weirdness . . . one never knows.
We were led to the room where we put brother on the bed and left him in great hands. There was the nervous wait time for us as we wondered if this was going to be a hurried thing or if he was going to be happy with the “outcome”. Would there be a let down after everything was said and done as that was always a possibility in this endeavor, we did not know and could only wait and see what came next. Both of us laughed and told stories while we waited no television or music going within the house. Time passed and we wondered if all was going well but did not attempt to ask or move from our spot until we were asked to do so.
It was just about an hour when she came out and said, “You brought me the boy . . . I give you back the man!” We cracked up and headed into the room where we could almost not get into the door from the beam of light shining from the huge grin on the brother’s face. It was one of those comical grins and reminded me of Jack Nicholson’s “Riddler” character’s smile in the Batman movie.
The adventure was a success with everyone getting what they wanted . . . a nice first time for one in need . . . a brother and a friends love to do something (if somewhat out of the normal realm of possibilities) right with a great outcome . . . a lady who wanted to help us with our request and was gracious and giving.
Some might look at this as wrong . . . some might think we are crazy . . . but for now it seemed like the right thing to do and oddly a positive outcome for everyone. It had humor, love, kindness, need, and fulfillment which are not bad in our present world of sometimes callousness, uncaring, and pain to one another.
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