Now the fun stuff . . .

Employee Christmas Party MEMOS - Continued

December 19...To All Employees

I have arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest away from the dessert table and for pregnant members to sit closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gays; each group will have its own table. And, yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table.

Happy now?

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

December 20...To All Employees

People! People! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus, even if the anagram for "Santa" does happen to be "Satan”. There is no evil connation to our own little "man in a red suit."

Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director

December 21...To All Employees

Vegetarians! I've had it with you people. We're holding this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not. You can just sit at the table farthest from the "Grill of Death" as you call it, and you'll get salad bar only including hydroponics tomatoes. Tomatoes have feelings too, you know. They scream when you slice them. I can hear
them now. I hope you have a rotten holiday. Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

The Bitch from Hell

The statistics on sanity are one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're all okay, then it's you!!!


Ice

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