Icewind's Ramblings

It's that time again . . . Most of you know that I really enjoy putting up Christmas Lights and over the years I have been kidded about being the Chevy Chase character that National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation was based upon. I remember being inspired by the light displays in rural Georgia that the Hardy family would put on every year. I would drag everyone to make the “short” trip to see them and we would leave about 5:30 pm and return home worn out from the drive around midnight. My family humored me every year and I would come home and buy additional lights each year during the “after Christmas” sales or I would find them at yard sales so I could add more the next year. I must say I out did myself this year, enjoy my little video of lights and sounds. Click here to load short video. Doesn’t it remind you of the displays put on in your area? I always loved the ones where you would drive through and stop and have hot chocolate and roas...

the time we need a funny story. It's cold, dark, and snowy here in Alaska as I look on the internet at the upcoming vacation cruise in March. I can dream of the warm air, the balmy breezes, and the slow pace of this unique travel experience. It reminds me of a story that another Southern humorist, Lewis Grizzard used to tell in his concerts years ago before he passed away. It is the story of an older retired couple and the renewed spirit of youth getting ready for a cruise. Enjoy: Mr. Wojciehowicz had been retired for a year when his wife of fifty years suggested one day, "Why don't we take a cruise for a week and make wild passionate love like we did when we were young?" Stanley thought it over and agreed. He put on his hat and coat and went down to the corner drug store. Stanley stepped up to the counter and asked for a bottle of seasick pills and a box of condoms. Upon returning home his wife greeted him at the door saying, "You know dear, I've be...

I saw this and thought it funny on another site and thought I would share. What a hoot! The Kern County, California, Sheriff's Department orders plain white patrol units and has the graphics applied locally. In this case, what they ordered was not quite what they got. This car was driven for 1 week before an officer noticed what the Graphics company employee did on the passenger side of the car. The employee did this on his last day working for the graphics company before he retired. I love this but could you do it on your last day? Ice

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe and the biran fguiers it out aynawy. How did your brain do? Time for another Guinness . Ice

(Continued from last nights post) Around several turns and over some slight hills we came to a “Dip” in the road. It was the word someone had painted on the road just before your vehicle “dropped” into this giant hole that had sunken from a frost heave last winter. The DOT had no signs to warn anyone but previous victims had painted the road on both sides to try to warn people. Luckily we were not going to fast when we crashed into this hole bottoming out and having to stop and look to see if anything had been damaged or if any fluids were leaking out anywhere. Several other cars behind us hit the same hole and pulled over to check out their vehicles too. Everyone wondered how this hazard was not better marked and we looked for abandoned vehicles that had to be around somewhere. During this time as we looked around and over the embankment we could see the river flowing down the valley. In the distance we could see Exit Glacier coming out of the valley f...

. . . way down yonder from where I normally spend a lot of my time I ran across a little place that about says it all. I had taken the day off from work on a late season fishing trip but the morning started off windy, cold, and raining sideways. I was in no hurry to get to the place we were going to fish so after a few side stops for coffee, some light snacks, and a couple of stops for pictures my companions and I decided to explore some areas we normally do not get a chance to visit. "Reflections at Tern Lake" My brother in law and his dad were up in Alaska for a quick trip to visit us and if possible get another fishing trip in. Mike had came up several times over the summer to fish and this one was unplanned and a last minute decision. The rain and cold did not make for great anticipation for me as I had already put away all of our fishing gear and supplies for the coming winter season. Breaking it out again was not my favorite thing but they had...

People always wonder why sometimes I am so "full of it". I am loaded with tidbits of useless information that I have used in Trivial Pursuit games, giving the history of an area around us, or just flowing with the weird and absurd. Here is some to ponder: If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. Hardly seems worth it for a good cup. If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. Now that's more like it! The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps blood out to the body to squirt 30 feet. O.M.G.! A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. In my next life, I want to be a pig. I want to be Shirley the pig. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) I'm still not over the pig. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. Do not ...

I'm still under the weather so this will be short tonight. Quick jokes: Ten thousand years ago, the first humans came to North America . They crossed from Russia into Alaska . Actually, they hadn't intended to do this. But they got lost and . . . . . . couldn't get their Berings Strait . A common misconception is that Alaska and the North Pole has Penguins running around everywhere. Alaska has Polar Bears . . . Antarctica has Penguins . . . They are Poles apart. There is a reason why there are no Penguins in the North Pole, the Artic or Alaska . . . Ice

For those of us celebrating this day of Thanksgiving and for those that may observe this on another time of the year, I hope everyone has a wonderful day. My daily prayer for many years has always had the partial lines of "A Soldier's Prayer" and includes: I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life; I was given life, that I might enjoy all things. I am blessed! Here is "A Solder's Prayer" written during the civil war by an unknown Confederate soldier dying and written in blood on the floor of a cabin in South Carolina . This was given to me in 1982 by my friend, Max Cleland and is the back cover of his book, "Strong at the Broken Places" . A Soldier's Prayer I asked God for strength, that I might achieve; I was made weak, that I might humbly obey. I asked for health; that I might do greater things; I was given infirmity, that I might do better things. ...

I'm not feeling well tonight so this will be quick from a story last September in Fairbanks. Flying Moose in Fairbanks JahJahbinks, a friend over at The Amazon Basin , Sep 12, 2005 - 9:42 PM posted to one of the members who had just hit a large animal. He said: "And remember do not try to avoid hitting anything on the road unless it's a moose or a buffalo." "It's hard to hit Flying Moose." Flying Moose Didn't realize that Moose could fly did you? Ice

This question was recently asked on my Amazon Basin forums. There were several funny answers and takes on this subject. Here is mine: I could not resist this. The straight dope on Prep H and baggy eyes Now the fun stuff . . . Preparation-H Hemorrhoid Cream - 1.8 oz. Preparation-H Hemorrhoidal Cream, 1.8 oz. (51g) tube - Large Size Helps shrink swelling of irritated hemorrhoidal tissues. Gives prompt temporary relief from the painful burning, itching and discomfort of hemorrhoids. Indications: Temporarily shrinks hemorrhoidal tissue and gives temporary relief of the itching, burning and discomfort associated with hemorrhoids. Directions: Adults- When practical, cleanse the affected area by patting or blotting with an appropriate cleansing tissue. Gently dry patting or blotting with toilet tissue or a soft cloth before application of Preparation H. What about the kiddies? Do they apply to dirty areas? Apply externally to the affe...

It has snowed here the last couple of days and we have about 8 inches on the ground so we are assured a "white" Thanksgiving next week. It is good to see the snowfall again and the days are continuing to get shorter and shorter. Barrow had their last sunset of 2005 last Friday and will not see the sun again until January 21, 2006. I have 2 projects starting there and will be spending some time at the "top of the world" above the Artic Circle over the next couple of years. In the meantime I wanted to share this summertime picture with you. I especially like this "dream cabin". It sits on a bluff overlooking Cook Inlet and Redoubt Volcano across the water to the right side of this view. The flowers are "fireweed", one of Alaska's flowers. There are fields of this everywhere in late summer and early fall. It is beautiful to see and has a nice "lavender smell" to it. Here is a closer view. "Dream Cabin...

Two nights going on about coffee, who'd thunk? Last night brought about a breakdown on the highway after work. It was cold, dark, and snowy. I tried to nurse the vehicle back to my house until late into the night but to no avail. Finally I had it towed to the dealership for repairs. Remember that question when you signed up for your vehicle insurance, “Would you like to add the emergency towing service?” Always, always, always say YES to that question. It will keep you from going over the deep end when you have to use the service. You make the phone call to the insurance company toll free number and they call and send help to tow the vehicle. It is not quite “Onstar” but helpful none the less. The wrecker service took about 45 minutes to show up and take my “rig” (Alaskan term for truck) to the dealership. It was almost painless other than the time wasted trying to get home. I wish I could say the same for the repair cost so I can't wait...

Today I had several meetings and talked with several people after each of them. The conversations usually wound up to the subject of the long nights coming here in Anchorage over the winter and how people felt about it. Today was snowy and grey with the darkness approaching about 4:30 in the afternoon. You could feel it in the air. I was reminded that people here are affected by the long winter nights and lack of sunlight. SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder is a type of winter depression that affects an estimated half a million people every winter between September and April; in particular during December, January and February. I attended a seminar for work after I first arrived in Alaska and remembered a story that the instructor had told us about stress, and how you approach life. When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, Remember the mayonnaise jar...and the coffee... A professor stood before his philo...

20 minutes to travel 4 miles to work this morning during the snowfall. All of the ditch divers and idiots were out in force today raising our insurance rates with all of their claims. It's nuts out here today with a little snowfall, traffic like the world to my south . . . remember folks . . . Please don't bang the car in front of you! Ice

I first posted this on The Amazon Basin forums on 7-21-05 I have a friend over there named Russtovich who is known for his "wireless" setup for his computer and wandering all over the house playing our Diablo game or browsing the internet. Russ' wife works out of town so he has a tendency to browse "pantless" . Everyone kids Russ about his play style and there is an ongoing addition to the "pantless" crowd whenever someone goes wireless or now "bluetooth" and posts about their new found places to play from. I moved over the summer to a house that is nestled in the trees without anyone right up next to each other. It is in the city but is kinda remote up on the hillside. I don't have wireless yet but with my recent move I moved my computer out on the back deck until my office is set back up using a long cable. It works great when the weather is good and a few days ago I was enjoying the breeze pantless drinking a Gui...

I think some things have changed since we had little ones around the house. Or maybe I just don't remember the kids doing this stuff. I was watching my grand daughter this past weekend. I call her "Pudge" because it is hard for me to call out her real name as it is one of my ex's name and it doesn't roll off the tongue like it did when I was in my 20's. Every time I would get anything out of the refrigerator she would go over sit in the door and close it so there was barely any room for her. And she would sit there giggling. For a long, long time. This happened over and over the three days she was with us. "Pudge in the Fridge" I commented to my wife and she said she does it every time she stays with us. Has anyone else seen this behavior? I am curious if this is a normal occurrence. "Pudge having a snack" I am amazed by all of the new things fo...

I've been in the construction business for over 30 years now and was recently reminded of this story. Take this to heart and make everyday count. An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife, enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not at work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career. When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front door key to the carpenter. “This is your house,” he said, “my gift to you.” What a shock! What a shame! If he...

I saw this on a Bumper sticker once and think it is quite true. God grant me the senility to forget the people that I never liked anyway. The good fortune to run into the ones that I do . . . And the eyesight to tell the difference. Ice

Forwarded too late to help me but . . . I hate it when people forward bogus warnings...but this one is real, and it's important. So please send this warning to everyone who may need to hear it... If someone comes to your front door saying they are conducting a survey on Deer and Moose ticks and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! IT IS A SCAM; they only want to see you naked. I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid now. Ice